Notes

Things that have happened lately..

I work for ZM.. yeah. Radio is what I wanted, Radio is what I got.
Also, Marcus Lush is considering using me for his own good.. Lovely.

Getting ready to leave Invercargill, Auckland.. Im returning.

Many more syptoms have evolved over the last two months..
many heart scans, tradmills, monitors and the likes..
surgery.

Thankfully, I have life insurance.
I have been advised to write a will.

..keep smiling.

Im only young..

Supraventricular tachycardia.

I have been diagnosed with SVT, a heart problem.
I have had this for around four years now and never had it checked out, my asthma has been affecting it so badly.

I have been in the hospital.. and it could come down to two things.
Removal of my thyroid.. which could require minor surgery.
Pacemaker.
Drugs and therapy.

Why?
Im fricken nineteen years old.

More on the 27th..

I am not sure, really.. what to do.
Thankfully, everyone has been quite supportive.
Thank you.

ZM has offered me some work,
and Radio Southland has been amazing with my uni application.

Its the only positive thing left.
Everything is leaving me, i have nothing left.
Why.
My life was finally going right.

Health Line.

Tuesday- Beginning.

Wednesday- Bed all day with high fevers, chills and throwing up.

Thursday- Doctor appointment

This wasnt a very helpful visit, not only did he disregard all my symptoms that match swine flu but he scared the shit out of me. He gave me a booklet on what heart condition I have.. SVT and then proceeded to tell me that I have an over active thyroid.

Step One: lab for blood tests.
Step Two: hospital day trip - ECG scan, plugged up and running on a treadmill and then plugged up for a week to be monitored.

Friday- Feeling good.

Saturday- Feeling good.

Sunday- Other half's sickness has re infected me.

I am so over this.

And I still dont know if its swine flu.

Thinking Thinking Thinking

Break time is over.

Its like, a bell has rung and everyone scuttles back to their rooms.

Back to the security of my second home.
Back to the warmth of friendly conversation.
Back to the knowledge, im not the only one in this boat.

Recorded a radio commercial.

Working on my Uni application.

Bought my airline tickets out of here.

Countdown to birthday underway.

Anything to occupy my mind.

Its Just A Thriller.

Changing day in history.

The death of Michael Jackson swept the globe this morning leaving confusion, sorrow, heartbreak and bliss.

I dont know where I stand with this, my priorities lie with having no opinion.
I write stories.
I get them published.
I provide readers with the knowledge they seek.

I dont opinionate.

Was given exam results today, to my absolute shock - I passed.
98% 95% 92%

Is this possible?
Can I really achieve..?

Time to believe in myself.
Have faith.
Work through nights.

And not blame anything on the moonlight.

Pay It Forward.

I love smiles.

1. A facial expression characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and indicating pleasure, amusement, or derision.
2. A pleasant or favorable disposition or aspect.

I like the mystery of a smile.

I like how contagious they are.

Everyone, just smile.

Congratulations. You're In.

Time for a new start I think.

Im sitting here, the fan heater melting my feet in a pool of magic. Bliss.
Trying hard to write this story, my mind is just numbers and letters, numbers and letters..
Interviews racing through time slots.. and my addiction to nicotine reaching breaking point.

The room is gradually drowning in darkness, the TV is glowing brighter..
My page remains wordless.

Motivation is required. Motivation should have been a prerequisite.

Five more months of intense deadlines.
Five more months of breaking stories.
Five more months of investigative journalism.
Inhale.
Exhale.